You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up.

There was an album that I used to love as a kid. It was the first-ever release by the Mamas and the Papas, entitled If You Can Believe Your Eyes and Ears, and as I peruse the political landscape these days, that phrase just keeps popping into my head.

The latest foray into insanity by this bizarre Congress comes to us today courtesy of Sen. Benjamin Cardin, D.-Md.

You see, Senator Cardin has figured out a way to staunch the flow of red ink that has been afflicting most major, left-leaning newspapers throughout the country, all long-time allies of the Liberal establishment that they are loath to see lose further ground to the blogosphere.

The crux of his proposal is that he wants to allow newspapers, if they so desire, to choose to become non-profit organizations, thereby avoiding the burden of paying taxes. Liberals are so good at avoiding that particular heavy load, aren't they?

After all, newspapers perform a public service for democracy and should be allowed to operate as tax-exempt non-profits! Right? RIGHT? His bill would explicitly include newspapers as an eligible organization for 501 (c) (3) status, the same status as public radio and public television.

I will pause here for a moment to allow you to catch your breath if you are doubled over with laughter, or to resume breathing if you were momentarily struck dumb at the horror of it all.

The business-ownership model under which these non-profits would operate is called L3C, short for Low-profit, Limited Liability Company. Under the legislation proposed by Cardin, newspaper revenues would be tax-exempt and conversely, those who purchase newpapers could declare their "contributions" as tax deductions.

"We are losing our newspaper industry," Cardin said in a statement. "The economy has caused an immediate problem, but the business model for newspapers, based on circulation and advertising revenue, is broken, and that is a real tragedy for communities across the nation and for our democracy."

Now here's the onion: In order to maintain its tax-exempt status, the non-profit newspaper would not be allowed to endorse political candidates. But DO NOT panic - they would still be able to report political news. Because, y'know, the way they report a story doesn't carry any built-in political proclivities, or any kind of agenda or anything. Nope. No siree.

Fair. Balanced. Tax-free.